how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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