We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
