My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
