butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
