There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
