woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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