My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
