I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
