I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
