dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
