Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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