just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Fuck appropriateness.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize