You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
