she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize