Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
