New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
