I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Me too!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
