Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
