I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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