Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
