shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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