Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
