I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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