Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
