Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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