jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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