She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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