I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
