i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
