I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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