who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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