I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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