I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
