dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is Oprah even human
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
