i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize