Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We're too hungover to prance.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
