I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize