So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
