Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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