What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize