Your dad touched me again.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
