Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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