i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
