omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
