hotel room ftw
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
