Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
