3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize