I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
