awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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