If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
please don't ironically join a cult
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