piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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