Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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