okay pat passed out under dana's car
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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