I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
