i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
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