Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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